Thursday, March 19, 2009

ARSI: A new presence on Facebook

ARSI is pleased to announce that our new Rutabaga Studies group on Facebook has been enthusiastically received. The group, open to all Facebook users, offers the following mission statement:
Dedicated to the preservation and expansion of rutabaga agronomy and culture through science, art, cuisine and athletics. This is the official Facebook representative for the Advanced Rutabaga Studies Institute (ARSI), located in Forest Grove, Oregon, USA -- the Rutabaga Capital of the World Since 1951.
At a press conference in Peru, ARSI President for Life Obie MacAroon III stated: "We are pleased to take yet another step towards expanding ARSI's outreach efforts in every corner of the planet."

In response to persistent questioning from reporters, President MacAroon vigorously denied rumors that he had awarded himself a $62 million bonus from stimulus funds obtained by ARSI under the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009. "My actual bonus was less than half that amount," he declared. "Furthermore, my attorneys advised me that I had no choice but to give myself the bonus due to a pre-existing contractual obligation."


Anonymous said...

Mr. MacAroon has truly earned his bonus, and more, after displaying great courage and diligence in his explorations of the upper Amazon Basin and Peruvian Andes. The "tropical rutabaga" could offer a vast nutritional resource for the entire planet as we move into a new regime of global warming.

--Aloysius P. Weatherspoon IV, ARSI Community Relations Office

Anonymous said...

I was delighted to hear that Mr. MacAroon has been nominated as "Rutabagan of the Year" once again. If he wins, it will be a record 17th year in a row that this honor has been bestowed upon him.

Anonymous said...

All hail Obie MacAroon III! And down with the congressional witch hunters!

Anonymous said...

Is MacAroon going to return his outrageous bonus to the federal treasury, like the execs at AIG?