Friday, January 05, 2007

World's easiest recipe for mashed rutabagas


After six years of meticulous research, and by popular demand, ARSI is proud to present its innovative recipe for mashed rutabagas, a holiday favorite around the world for centuries. Be careful to observe precautions, as noted.


STEP 1: Chop rutabagas.

IMPORTANT PRECAUTIONS: A new or sharpened axe is adequate for this purpose, though (if available) a jackhammer or industrial-grade chainsaw will work best.
For your personal safety, it is advisable to wear a helmet, body armor and goggles as the chopping process can create flying shrapnel that may cause serious injury or property damage.


STEP 2: Boil, then boil some more, until softened.

IMPORTANT PRECAUTIONS: May require extra cooking time at higher altitudes. Add a large pinch of salt to shorten cooking time. In ARSI's experimental labs, some varieties of rutabaga were marinated and cooked up to 28 days in a special blend that included sulphuric acid and potash. Impractical as this sounds, the result was exceptionally tasty.


STEP 3: Mash with milk, then mix in butter and salt to taste. Especially good with cinnamon or nutmeg.

IMPORTANT PRECAUTIONS: To avoid injury or property damage, make sure that the rutabaga is adequately softened before attempting to mash. Use of a blender will impart a smoother texture to the dish, but be sure to have extra blades available due to excessive wear-and-tear during the mixing process.


STEP 4: Serve plain or add a crater for gravy.

NOTE: In the unlikely event of leftovers, fashion into rutaburgers and pan-fry or broil for a splendid treat. Clean dishes and pots immediately to avoid crystallization of rutabaga residues. If disposal of leftovers becomes necessary, contact the Department of Environmental Quality for recommended procedures.

Additional note: Leftover mashed rutabagas have proven useful for various masonry applications. Stay tuned for additional developments in this exciting area of rutastudies.

BON APPETIT FROM OBIE MACAROON III
AND ALL OF US AT ARSI!

36 comments:

M.J. O'Brien said...

N.L. writes: "You can mixed mashed rutabagas with mashed potatoes, too. Quite yummy! Potatoes taste awfully bland after you've gotten a taste for rutabagas."

Great idea, though we feel that rutabagas are better by themselves than in any possible combination.

Anonymous said...

Does cooking make the 'baga more orange? Either that or your chef added a lot of cinnamon to the dish by the time it was served. The mashed 'bagas have turned orange, as you can plainly see.

Anonymous said...

In Sweden, where I grew up, they mix mashed rutabagas with a lesser quantity of mashed potatoes and also 1 mashed carrot. Liquid is usually broth as opposed to milk. It's called "rotmos" and it's to die for! I'm making it right now for the first time. I have NO idea I why I waited 40 years to make this. Out of sight, out of mind I guess.
Inger

Anonymous said...

This is from memory from something I read about 30 years ago, so the spelling is appoximate. There's an old European peasant dish called "himmel and erds" made of equal parts potato, apple and turnip, all boiled (or steamed) then mashed together and served with butter and salt. It is very tasty, but even better with rutabaga instead of turnip.

Anonymous said...

I mashed up a Rutabaga and composed an Indian style hymn of praise in its honour. As I was also inspired by the fact that it is so cold in Iceland that it would freeze the balls off of a brass monkey, I called it the Tuba Raga.

Anonymous said...

Yeah ... these things are mysteriously grown, and for some reason displayed for sale in supermarkets, in Ontario, Canada. Just like American rutabags, the Canadian ones are an ugly, dull purple and white, with two gashes where the tops and roots where buzz-sawed off. As vegetables go, they have absolutely no sex appeal at the cash register. And can you imagine a young farmer meeting a hot chick and when she asks him he does for a living he tells her, "Why there little miss, I grow rutabagas, thanks for askin'". You think he's going to get a date? And with their bland appearance when cooked they have little more table appeal either. Hey - I hate to trash a vegetable but come on, who has time to hack the wax and thick skin off of something round with nothing to hang onto, then use a meat cleaver to cut it into chunks? And cooking time? You gotta be kidding! Even the name is a joke. It's something your great-grandmother used to stew, then "put up" as a preserve back in the time. But who has time now? I mean, just over-cook a turnip - it's a lot easier, quicker, and you've got the same flat taste! And I gotta tell you I feel really uneasy about eating anything that's also fed hogs as "pig slop"! Sorry folks, but rutabags are really suspect to me - what other food item is waxed, then displayed in large baskets in grocery stores? I mean, how can you tell a fresh rutabaga from one left over from your great-grandmother's fruit cellar? And is there a difference? I honestly can't tell you why I'm drawn to this vegetable. Uniqueness I guess. So ugly they're cute type of thing maybe....

Anonymous said...

I'm boiling Rutabagas at this very moment(company Thanksgiving). I didn't need an axe, but I did put a large brick on the lid as an attempt to increase the boiling temperature. ?? Anyway, I'm 37, and for me late November just wouldn't be the same without this vegetable.

One Pennsylvania Thanksgiving, at the kids table, there was zero elbow room, and I made a joke about us having to take turns swallowing, and my cousin had Rutabagas coming out of his nose! Rutabagas = Good Times :-)

Gotta check the stove, thanks for the fun.

SE Portland

Dom said...

I have the rutabagas on the stove right now. Remember to drain the water, then let them sit for 15 min and drain again or else they get soggy.

Anonymous said...

The rutabaga rocks! What's Thanksgiving without it??

M.J. O'Brien said...

...like American rutabags, the Canadian ones are an ugly, dull purple and white...

What you're describing sounds exactly like "turnips," not the hallowed rutabaga. Rutabagas are a dappled yellow-orange and purple.

When I was a kid in New England, we mistakenly called rutabagas "turnips," even though they're so different in appearance. True turnips lack the charm and character of rutabagas.

And yes, we've added a hint of cinnamon to our rutabagas. But they still turn out fairly orange.

Great suggestion on how to avoid sogginess, Dom!

Happy Thanksgiving to all from Forest Grove, Oregon - the Rutabaga Capital of the World since 1951!

Anonymous said...

I like to boil diced rutabagas with a table spoon of sugar. When tender drain and rough mash with a lot of butter, salt and pepper.

Diane said...

What would a pasty be without the rutabaga? A boring meat pie. Thanks Oregon!

Anonymous said...

We limeys call them swedes, but for the life of me I don't know why we call them that. My mother was Irish and we ate them pretty much every Sunday as far as I can remember. Boiled to death and then smothered in salt and pepper. Wonderful.

Grazman

Bagaguy said...

Traditional Holiday fare for me in Indiana... I mash them with butter, a bit of milk, and some sugar.
We serve them separate the first meal, them mix their leftovers with the leftover Mashed Potatoes for the next day.
I love them both !

Anonymous said...

B O'Brien said.....
My family loves Rutabaga's. Thanksgiving dinner wouldn't be the same without it. I add a little brown sugar and butter when I mash them. Yummy !!!!

Dan said...

Been eating them with turkey dinner since 1946. Grandma used to mash them through a ricer. Came out smooth and delicious. Now I'm the rutabaga maker and use a masher. Not quite as good...a tad chunky. Tried cooking them in salted water, like pasta, but they came out 'way too salty. Agree they're hard to peel. Family won't let me put "swedes" in my pasties. How sad. Rutabagas forever!

PAT said...

I bought mine at Whole Foods this year and they are the same color and slightly waxy but much smaller with a much thinner skin. Inside they seemed the same but not as hard to cut through and they smell the same while boiling. Does anyone know anything about this type of Rutabaga? Is it the new improved version? The manager of the Produce Dept. assured me they are rutabagas. I make them fresh every year even though I think I am the only one that eats them. It just isn't Thanksgiving without rutabagas and pumpkin chiffon pie... delicious. ps thanks for the double draining tip. It sounds easier than the other methods I have used to dry them.

Mame said...

I asked my husband and each of my (adult) offspring what they wanted with our Thanksgiving turkey and got very little feed back. After the shopping was done I was having dinner with my middle son and he mentioned rutabaga. I hadn't bother with them in a long time because they were too hard to peel and chop. I told my husband that Rob was talking about rutabaga and he said now he really wanted that too. It was much easier to peel and chop than I remember, although I did use a cleaver. Fun to read everyone else's thoughts on rutabaga!

Mame said...

I asked my husband and each of my (adult) offspring what they wanted with our Thanksgiving turkey and got very little feed back. After the shopping was done I was having dinner with my middle son and he mentioned rutabaga. I hadn't bother with them in a long time because they were too hard to peel and chop. I told my husband that Rob was talking about rutabaga and he said now he really wanted that too. It was much easier to peel and chop than I remember, although I did use a cleaver. Fun to read everyone else's thoughts on rutabaga!

Anonymous said...

My Irish mother, who is 91 years old, has always had rutabaga on Thanksgiving. THEN, when I started having the holiday at my house, I deleted the rutabaga. (Didn't care for it) So, we haven't had them for 12 years now.
To surprise my mother I am making them this year. Please pray they come out edible. And pray that maybe I like them this time...LOL
I'm just boiling, mashing, with butter.

Anonymous said...

We have been having rutabaga with Thanksgiving (and Christmas)dinner for as long as I can remember. Didn't care for them as a kid, but I love them now! And so do my kids! We mash them with milk and butter, and add nutmeg, a little sugar, then salt to taste. Then we add a little bit of flour, beat them with a hand mixer, put them in a casserole dish and bake until the top starts to brown. YUM! Smooth and creamy, no lumps. That, and the stuffing are my favorite parts of the leftovers!

crabbylady said...

My Irish Mom has always made rutabagas (which she called turnips, but which are really rutabagas) for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We used a clever to cut them, and boiled/mashed/added butter BUT we added diced onion. Good flavor! Great blog.

Tea and Toast Book Reviews said...

With an Irish background, some of my family seemed to have a fascination with the rutabaga. I posted an article on this less-than-inspiring vegetable with our own mashed rutabagas recipe. http://www.examiner.com/x-32993-Yakima-Healthy-Foods-Examiner~y2010m1d24-Rutabaga

Anonymous said...

Thank you all for the help here. Besides laughing my tail off, I got so much info that is truly going to help me this week. All the best to all of you.

Donna

Anonymous said...

I put the rutabaga in the microwave for a bit to soften. Then cut off the skin and dice for cooking.

After fully cooked, I mash them and also add some diced fried bacon bits and a bit of the drippings .. along with butter/margarine and spices.

Always a hit at Thanksgiving. Enjoy!!!

Lost in America Redux said...

Loved your cooking tips for this vegetable. I found a mashing shortcut - I back my honda accord over the cooked pieces, oh, ten or more times until the consistency is about right. Always delicious in a weird, medicinal way.

Lost in America Redux said...

Loved your cooking tips for this vegetable. I found a mashing shortcut - I back my honda accord over the cooked pieces, oh, ten or more times until the consistency is about right. Always delicious in a weird, medicinal way.

Anonymous said...

Loved your piece, esp the 'chain saw' or 'jackhammer' part! This year I had Whole Foods cut up the rutabagas for me. Much safer :)

WoodMiser said...

I am an amature woodworker and considered running our Rutabagas through my planer to make them thinner and easier to mash. Unfortunately I have one set of knives for my planer, and I want to save them for Dried HARD wood, and not use them on root vegetables. I will be trying the suggestions of cinnamon and maybe brown sugar, and/or Nutmeg.

Lynn Beytien said...

My family has had these for Thanksgiving for years, and years. I think I am a purest, and dont like to doctor them up ,but only with lowerys seasoning salt, pepper( don't be afraid of pepper it is an underrated spice) and lots of butter. I like mine chunky like i like chunky mashed potatoes. You get the real flavor this way, and good, honest, rugged texture.Love,love,love rutabegas!

Anonymous said...

All I can say is: You must be one hell -of a good lawyer to know so much about rutabegas! Glad this site exists for bega consultations.

Anonymous said...

Microwave them first fo 8 minutes to soften skin to make them easy to peel and slice. Make sure you put in dish or paper towel or you will have wax in your microwave.

Jim in MS said...

Pulled rutabagas from the garden yesterday. I peeled and cut them with a paring knife. They tasted much better than the wax covered, hard to peel rutabagas from the store. We've been enjoying them all winter!

Meghan said...

I love them cut into 2x3 inch rectangles, tossed with olive oil and kosher salt, and roasted at 400 for about 20 minutes.

Meghan said...

I love them cut into 2x3 inch rectangles, tossed with olive oil and kosher salt, and roasted at 400 for about 20 minutes.

Anonymous said...

Put your rutabaga on a few sheets of paper towel on a plate. Microwavw on low for 15 minutes, check for tenderness...continue until softened....skin will slide off...cutting will be easy...mash away!!!!