After six years of meticulous research, and by popular demand, ARSI is proud to present its innovative recipe for mashed rutabagas, a holiday favorite around the world for centuries. Be careful to observe precautions, as noted.
STEP 1: Chop rutabagas.IMPORTANT PRECAUTIONS: A new or sharpened axe is adequate for this purpose, though (if available) a jackhammer or industrial-grade chainsaw will work best.
For your personal safety, it is advisable to wear a helmet, body armor and goggles as the chopping process can create flying shrapnel that may cause serious injury or property damage.
STEP 2: Boil, then boil some more, until softened.IMPORTANT PRECAUTIONS: May require extra cooking time at higher altitudes. Add a large pinch of salt to shorten cooking time. In ARSI's experimental labs, some varieties of rutabaga were marinated and cooked up to 28 days in a special blend that included sulphuric acid and potash. Impractical as this sounds, the result was exceptionally tasty.
STEP 3: Mash with milk, then mix in butter and salt to taste. Especially good with cinnamon or nutmeg.IMPORTANT PRECAUTIONS: To avoid injury or property damage, make sure that the rutabaga is adequately softened before attempting to mash. Use of a blender will impart a smoother texture to the dish, but be sure to have extra blades available due to excessive wear-and-tear during the mixing process.
STEP 4: Serve plain or add a crater for gravy.NOTE: In the unlikely event of leftovers, fashion into rutaburgers and pan-fry or broil for a splendid treat. Clean dishes and pots immediately to avoid crystallization of rutabaga residues. If disposal of leftovers becomes necessary, contact the Department of Environmental Quality for recommended procedures.
Additional note: Leftover mashed rutabagas have proven useful for various masonry applications. Stay tuned for additional developments in this exciting area of rutastudies.
BON APPETIT FROM OBIE MACAROON III
AND ALL OF US AT ARSI!
AND ALL OF US AT ARSI!
13 comments:
N.L. writes: "You can mixed mashed rutabagas with mashed potatoes, too. Quite yummy! Potatoes taste awfully bland after you've gotten a taste for rutabagas."
Great idea, though we feel that rutabagas are better by themselves than in any possible combination.
Does cooking make the 'baga more orange? Either that or your chef added a lot of cinnamon to the dish by the time it was served. The mashed 'bagas have turned orange, as you can plainly see.
In Sweden, where I grew up, they mix mashed rutabagas with a lesser quantity of mashed potatoes and also 1 mashed carrot. Liquid is usually broth as opposed to milk. It's called "rotmos" and it's to die for! I'm making it right now for the first time. I have NO idea I why I waited 40 years to make this. Out of sight, out of mind I guess.
Inger
This is from memory from something I read about 30 years ago, so the spelling is appoximate. There's an old European peasant dish called "himmel and erds" made of equal parts potato, apple and turnip, all boiled (or steamed) then mashed together and served with butter and salt. It is very tasty, but even better with rutabaga instead of turnip.
I mashed up a Rutabaga and composed an Indian style hymn of praise in its honour. As I was also inspired by the fact that it is so cold in Iceland that it would freeze the balls off of a brass monkey, I called it the Tuba Raga.
Yeah ... these things are mysteriously grown, and for some reason displayed for sale in supermarkets, in Ontario, Canada. Just like American rutabags, the Canadian ones are an ugly, dull purple and white, with two gashes where the tops and roots where buzz-sawed off. As vegetables go, they have absolutely no sex appeal at the cash register. And can you imagine a young farmer meeting a hot chick and when she asks him he does for a living he tells her, "Why there little miss, I grow rutabagas, thanks for askin'". You think he's going to get a date? And with their bland appearance when cooked they have little more table appeal either. Hey - I hate to trash a vegetable but come on, who has time to hack the wax and thick skin off of something round with nothing to hang onto, then use a meat cleaver to cut it into chunks? And cooking time? You gotta be kidding! Even the name is a joke. It's something your great-grandmother used to stew, then "put up" as a preserve back in the time. But who has time now? I mean, just over-cook a turnip - it's a lot easier, quicker, and you've got the same flat taste! And I gotta tell you I feel really uneasy about eating anything that's also fed hogs as "pig slop"! Sorry folks, but rutabags are really suspect to me - what other food item is waxed, then displayed in large baskets in grocery stores? I mean, how can you tell a fresh rutabaga from one left over from your great-grandmother's fruit cellar? And is there a difference? I honestly can't tell you why I'm drawn to this vegetable. Uniqueness I guess. So ugly they're cute type of thing maybe....
I'm boiling Rutabagas at this very moment(company Thanksgiving). I didn't need an axe, but I did put a large brick on the lid as an attempt to increase the boiling temperature. ?? Anyway, I'm 37, and for me late November just wouldn't be the same without this vegetable.
One Pennsylvania Thanksgiving, at the kids table, there was zero elbow room, and I made a joke about us having to take turns swallowing, and my cousin had Rutabagas coming out of his nose! Rutabagas = Good Times :-)
Gotta check the stove, thanks for the fun.
SE Portland
I have the rutabagas on the stove right now. Remember to drain the water, then let them sit for 15 min and drain again or else they get soggy.
The rutabaga rocks! What's Thanksgiving without it??
...like American rutabags, the Canadian ones are an ugly, dull purple and white...
What you're describing sounds exactly like "turnips," not the hallowed rutabaga. Rutabagas are a dappled yellow-orange and purple.
When I was a kid in New England, we mistakenly called rutabagas "turnips," even though they're so different in appearance. True turnips lack the charm and character of rutabagas.
And yes, we've added a hint of cinnamon to our rutabagas. But they still turn out fairly orange.
Great suggestion on how to avoid sogginess, Dom!
Happy Thanksgiving to all from Forest Grove, Oregon - the Rutabaga Capital of the World since 1951!
I like to boil diced rutabagas with a table spoon of sugar. When tender drain and rough mash with a lot of butter, salt and pepper.
What would a pasty be without the rutabaga? A boring meat pie. Thanks Oregon!
We limeys call them swedes, but for the life of me I don't know why we call them that. My mother was Irish and we ate them pretty much every Sunday as far as I can remember. Boiled to death and then smothered in salt and pepper. Wonderful.
Grazman
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