Friday, November 16, 2007

Yet another LAF

The Lazy-Assed Finns (LAF) Association recently expanded its membership by 20% with the birth of Elsa Matilda Ackley-oo (pictured left with sister Ida, also known as The Dudette).

Elsa was born on November 5, 2007. She weighed in at a robust 3,490 grams and extended a full 50 cm. Though Elsa was born at 0700 FPDT (Finnish Perpetual Darkness Time), it is reported that she slept until noon.


We here at ARSI extend hearty congratulations to her proud parents and grandparents, all of whom are charter members of LAF.


With the addition of Elsa to the Finnish population, that country has virtually doubled its birth rate for 2007. Considering that Finns are among the laziest people who infest the planet, this is an especially impressive feat on the part of the parents. The production of children, after all, can require significant efforts from conception through birth and far beyond. Sadly, few modern Finns are prepared to expend that much energy.

Fortunately for Elsa, as well as her sister Ida and her mother Hanna, the new arrival bears no resemblance to Immu Ackely-oo, her simian father (left).

PHOTOS
courtesy Immu and Hanna Ackley-oo.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's strange that so few Finns have taken the trouble to become members of LAF. Most of the country is qualified, no doubt. Maybe LAF should make it easier to join up. Congratulations to the Ackley-oo clan from a distant admirer.

Anonymous said...

So let's start a Lazy-Assed chapter on this side of the pond. We could call it LANA, for Lazy-Assed North Americans.

Or maybe not. Sounds like it would take too much effort.

Anonymous said...

This Immu guy looks like quite a hunk. I don't know why you make fun of his picture. In fact, I want to have a baby with him, too. How do I get in touch with him?

Anonymous said...

I knew this Immu character when he lived in Oregon for a while, till they finally got disgusted and herded him out the door. At the time he was probably the laziest person in the state, placing him high in the running for laziest worldwide. It's hard to imagine a whole country full of people like that, but I guess that's what Finland must be like.

Anonymous said...

Mais nous, les français, sont aussi paresseux que les finlandois! Tu m'emmerdes, alors...

Anonymous said...

Ei missään tapauksessa! Olet ihan perseestä...

Anonymous said...

Immu? Tolla kaverilla virtaa kusi väärään suuntaan.

Anonymous said...

PRKL!

Ripsa said...

Sitä paitsi on äärimmäisen pelottava ajatus että pikku-Elsa kantaa minun geenejäni, kun jo Immu on tuan näköönen.

In English: It's horrifying thought that this little Elsa is carrying my genes also (as a grandmother, Immu's mother), when Immu already looks like that!

I haven't seen him now for about a month...I don't recall that extent of ape-likeness.

A-K.H said...

Aivan selvästi suomalaiset rotupiirteet tässä herrasmiehessä. Taidamme olla viimeisiä puustapudonneita.

M.J. O'Brien said...

Ripsa, Immu's mother, writes: "I haven't seen him now for about a month...I don't recall that extent of ape-likeness."

It's the result of too many botox injections, unfortunately. It's rumored that Immu increased his botox treatments right before his birthday in September. Dermatologists report that this so-called "simian effect" will gradually subside.

Il Mulkku said...

Anonymous writes: "Immu? Tolla kaverilla virtaa kusi väärään suuntaan."
But, isn't that clear to everyone? As long as this was referring to Immu.
Yeah, living in Espoo turns everyone into an ape sooner or later (just go there and you'll see). Botox seems to accelerate this process somewhat.
I personally believe this Immu character left Oregon as he had learned everything about lazy-assness thought to be known. Hmm.

Anonymous said...

Il Mulkku writes: I personally believe this Immu character left Oregon as he had learned everything about lazy-assness thought to be known.

In Oregon? I'm not really surprised. I hear this Immu character "studied" under a mysterious Oregon guru who has cultivated the art since birth.

Ripsa said...

Dear A-K.H!

It's truly true, what you say. I translate that little bit into English, so everybody understands:

"Fine race specimen that gentleman Immu. It's such a short time since we Finns fell out of trees."

We used to have a sort of rock'n roll band called Sielun veljet (Sou l Brother's), which said exactly that. The next verse went: when maito was milk. That means to my poor understanding that Finns hanging up in trees got a shock of their life learning, that maito would be allof the sudden be called milk, which they couldn't understand.

That's what powerful and mighty English language can do to some survival original peoples...

M.J. O'Brien said...

It's such a short time since we Finns fell out of trees.

Say what you will about us Celts, who mostly lived in caves until the recent past, but at least we managed to evolve into ground-dwellers. (Or underground-dwellers, anyhow).

As for the tyranny of the English language, Ripsa put it well: "That's what powerful and mighty English language can do to some survival original peoples..." As the Celts quickly learned.