Pureed rutabaga additive for pet foods (experimental)

Due to mounting concerns about the quality of pet food in the U.S., ARSI has been developing an experimental recipe for pureed rutabagas that can be safely added to any pet-food blends that remain on the market. ARSI hopes that these experiments will eventually open vast new markets for rutabaga farmers.

In our experiments to date, rutabagas must be pureed because laboratory trials suggest that dogs and cats find traditional mashed rutabagas too coarse for their taste. However, the extreme macromolecular density of rutabagas presents serious challenges to creating purees. The following experimental recipe has shown some promise in reducing preparation times for a pureed rutabaga additive to pet food.

Pureed Rutabaga Pet Food Additive
Experimental recipe #ARSI-9 - 26Z48
[Not suitable for human or animal consumption.]

• Peel and dice 8-10 fresh rutabagas
• Boil vigorously for 28 days or until softened
• Marinate for 96 hours in 2 gallons of hydrochloric acid
• Drain thoroughly to remove all acid residues, carefully following acid-base extraction procedures approved by the American Chemical Society*
• Mash, blend and pulverize into a thick smoldering paste
  
• Add 8 cups whole milk
• Add 2 pound of butter
• Blend with 20 pounds of dried pet foods, avoiding those subject to recall
  
• Optional: serve dripping with brown gravy or other meat sauce to enhance the pungent natural flavor of the rutabagas
  

Important: Increase cooking times by 30% at altitudes over 3,000 feet. As a precaution, safety goggles and body armor are highly recommended during every phase of preparation.

[Note: Mixed with gray food coloring, pureed rutabagas also serve
as a reliable substitute for mortar in various masonry applications.]

*The most delicate part of the process involves a strict application of the following formula to the acid-base extraction process:

ARSI is enthusiastically continuing its experiments in developing new pet-food applications for rutabagas. Visit soon for updates on this promising area of inquiry.

PHOTO: Acid-base extraction towers for marinated rutabagas at ARSI's International Headquarters in Forest Grove, Oregon.

Caterpillar devours rutabaga greens

Caterpillars also have a genetic craving for rutabagas, as demonstrated by this experiment. Note the accumulation of feces on the bottom of the jar.

Genetic appetite for rutabagas

Is there a gene that creates a craving for rutabagas in humans? A major study on the rutabaga gene in fruit flies (Drosophila pax) suggests that may indeed be the case:

"[R]utabaga encodes a calmodulin dependent adenyl cyclase that converts ATP to cyclic AMP. cAMP is a major signal transducer of the cell, and its creation and destruction is involved in just about every response of the cell to environmental changes. Calmodulin is a protein that binds the Ca++ ion, sensing its cellular concentration and interacting with the rutabaga encoded adenyl cyclase to activate adenyl cyclase mediated enzymatic conversion of ATP into cAMP." From The Interactive Fly © 1995, 1996 Thomas B. Brody, Ph.D.

Rutabaga-encoded adenyle cyclase has also been mapped in the human genome, so the same lust for rutabagas may occur in people, as suggested by ARSI's empirical data. Stay tuned for more information from our labs about this exciting area of scientific inquiry, which led to a Nobel Prize in 1995.

PHOTO: A fruit fly sips rutabaga nectar in an ARSI experiment.