Tropical rutabaga discovered, at last?

The Board of the Advanced Rutabaga Studies Institute (ARSI) has declared:

NATIONAL RUTABAGA MONTH - MAY, 2009

Writing via satellite email from his advanced base camp on Bolivia's Machacamarca plateau, ARSI President for Life Obie MacAroon reports:

"Thanks again to ARSI's Board for this unprecedented honor."

"I am very pleased on this occasion to report that, on April 27th, a team of ARSI rutabotanists found a single specimen of an exotic root vegetable (left) that bears a significant resemblance to the familiar rutabaga. It was located in an alpine meadow on the slopes of Illimani at 17,253 ft. / 5,260 meters, not far from La Paz. The tuber's color and cylindrical shape may not instantly evoke the rutabaga, but the odor and texture of the flesh are nearly identical. Small tissue samples have been sent to ARSI's labs in Forest Grove for DNA analysis to determine whether this discovery could be the fabled tropical rutabaga, (Brassica napobrassica tropicales)."

"Finally, with only 45 days until the celebration of ARSI's 55th Anniversary, I have written a personal letter to my friend President Barack Obama and suggested that this would be an appropriate time to draft a proclamation suitable to the occasion. I'll keep you posted on the response."

PHOTO: President for Life Obie MacAroon III (Copyright 2009)

Obie MacAroon III speaks

ARSI's corporate office has just received the following email dispatch from Obie MacAroon III, President for Life. For the last two years, President MacAroon has been exploring the upper Amazon basin in Peru with an expert team of botanists.

October 14, 2008
Iquitos, Peru

My friends,

It has recently come to my attention, thanks to an intrepid correspondent, that no entries whatsover have been made on The Rutabagan since January 1st of this year. This is totally unacceptable to me -- an outrage, in fact. I remind you all that ARSI's current budget includes a $1.2 million line item to fund a staff of 84 bloggers and support staff to update and maintain The Rutabagan on "a regular basis," as it says in their contracts.

Needless to say, I hereby direct that the entire Rutabagan staff be fired immediately: i.e., by 5:00 p.m. today. Before being allowed to leave, each staffer should be thoroughly searched for stolen valuables such as office supplies and highly-sensitive trade secrets from our experimental labs. I further direct that our legal team pursue a relentless litigation strategy to hold staff accountable for its nonfeasance and neglect of duty.

Meanwhile, the search for the "tropical rutabaga" continues in the lowlands of central Peru, with many promising leads that we intend to pursue in the coming months and years. With global warming, of course, the discovery of this species could greatly promote the spread of rutaculture worldwide.

Finally, my congratulations to loyal staff on the recent designation of October, 2008, as National Rutabaga Month. Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,

Obie MacAroon III
ARSI President for Life

Rest assured, rutabagans, that President MacAroon's directive will be pursued immediately and without remorse. As pictured below, ARSI's private security detail has already assumed control of the offices and outbuildings of The Rutabagan. Slight resistance from staff was quickly overcome.


ARSI will immediately hire an entirely new staff to upgrade and maintain The Rutabagan. We apologize to our many readers for the paucity of recent entries -- a problem that will be corrected in the very near future. Please stay tuned, and thanks for your patience.