2008 Curling Championship: The Vociferous Cruciferous Choir

If you need further proof that the 2008 Rutabaga Curling Championship was the best ever, despite the arctic conditions, take a look at the brilliant and spirited performance of the Rutabaga Chorus by the hardy Vociferous Cruciferous Choir in Ithaca, New York. (For those with a high-speed connection, it works best in High Quality, with "Smooth Video" selected.)

Choir member Tad Brennan, who reports that he "discovered the long-lost lyrics in the archives at Cornell University's Rare Manuscript collection," gives us the opportunity to sing along:

"Rutabaga! Sport of the odder Ithacan natives. The rutabaga curled nearest the cone is winner of our sport, and of first prize. [Repeat refrain forever and ever]. Fling that thing! The sport of sports. Root of roots, and sport of sports. Rutabaga!"

Tad says that he's "the tall guy in the back row wearing the Carhartt coveralls, bow-tie, and cummerbund."

High Commissioner Steve describes how his many followers can find him in the video:

"When the camera pans off to the right onto the stage soon after the song begins there are 2 of us up there...one with the cowboy hat/poncho (Peter MacDonald our emcee) and me...blue jacket/top hat/crazy ear muffs/enhanced side burns. On our own website we hope to soon have a cast of characters section so you can get more of a feel for the event."

Congratulations once more to all our good friends in Ithaca, and a special tip 'o the hat to Diane Petunia, Commissioner Steve and Tad Brennan.


PHOTO: Perfection! A sliced rutabaga showing the special qualities prized by rutabaga curlers everywhere: a spherical shape, extreme density and variegated color. This specially-bred specimen, measuring an impressive 9.86 on Mohs hardness scale, could only be cut with a diamond-studded industrial saw. [Wikimedia Commons]

Results are in for the 2008 Rutabaga Curl

Our good friend Commissioner Steve gives us the following update on our favorite sporting competition:

"The 2008 International Rutabaga Curling World Championship was held in the usual Ithaca, NY Farmers' Market venue. It was perhaps our coldest Curl on record which kept the crowd size down and had many athletes reconsidering the wisdom of heading out to hurl vegetables in extreme cold. It was however one of the most exciting Curl's in our history. This was the first field with fewer than 100 athletes in many years; just over 60 curlers braved the weather.

"A separate Turnip Toss was held for athletes 8 years and younger. Many young people are attracted to our sport but are unable to handle the demands of the heftier rutabaga...a Turnip Toss offers a smaller more delicate projectile, the throw distance is significantly shorter than the 79 foot Rutabaga Curl distance; pitching distance is a function of contestants' age. Five year old Zeke Lawrence took home the coveted Gold Medal, Phoenix Uticone took Silver while Henry Toori took third place.

"In the Rutabaga Curl itself there were many no shows as teams that had trained all year were noticeably absent due to the severe weather. This created a wide open, unpredictable field. Tom Mansell, a 25 year old Cornell graduate student took home the Gold. His first curled rutabaga took a bad hop off a wooden beam and split perfectly in 2 pieces. After much discussion by referees and the Commissioner it was decided that Tom's initial rutabaga was faulty ( hollow) and a replacement rutabaga was allowed along with a new shot at the target. Tom's rutabaga both in his heat and in the final round were consistently closest to the target. Tom modestly proclaimed that "anyone could have done this" ...but we know otherwise. Ray Schlather of Ithaca took the Silver medal; his medal was significant in that he is the first athlete ever to medal more than once as he won the bronze the year before. David Kingsbury, a potter who is a vendor at the Ithaca Farmers' Market, took the bronze medal marking the first market vendor to medal in many years."

--Commissioner Steve for the Rutabaga Curl

Thanks, Steve. Obie MacAroon III and all the rest of us at ARSI extend our heartiest congratulations to you and the other participants for another successful curling event, despite the arduous circumstances.

PHOTO: A pile of ARSI rutabagas, genetically engineered to be suitable for curling and ready to roll (Wikimedia)